Thoughts

El Shaddai – The All Sufficient One

allaboutsexualpurity

It’s funny (in a sad way) how dismissive we can be over the tiniest things around us.

The friends you can vent to, the community that support you, the people that pray for you, and the God who walks beside you. All these seem mundane, or fragments of a bigger picture, but you’ll be amazed at the impact these minute things have.

As I was walking home from work, it hit me how ungrateful I’ve been these past few months. How selfish and self centered.

I had been so focused on how I’m having to do everything on my own; raising a son, trying to make a living, and I was so frustrated. I had chosen to see only what I wanted, and think with my feelings.

Until I saw the bigger picture…

I am thankful for a God who is not willing to give up on me, no matter how far I’ve gone. 100% of the 4 years I’ve been a parent I’ve had no idea of what I’m doing. I second guess every decision I make wondering how it might affect my son’s future. But I’m glad that God has given me a family, people who’ve guided me in a godly way, to know what’s right, and what’s wrong, to know how to go about different situations that I face.

I’m thankful for godly men, who’ve shown me what a man should be like, and what to look for in a husband. Men who treat women right, who protect and nurture, and lay down their lives, not for their own personal gain, but for others. I’m thankful for the example the have been to my son, in how they interact with him.

I’m thankful for the godly women who’ve stuck by me. Who’ve guided me, and pointed me to the right direction even when I don’t like it at the time. For how they’ve spoken the truth, even in times when it’s been hard to hear, and I want to really follow my feelings. For the godly mom’s who’ve led as examples, teaching me how to train my son in godly ways.

I’m thankful for the ladies around me, who have seen my breakdowns, held me when I cried, stayed firm in the truth, and pulled me up when I was giving up.

There’s so much to be thankful for, it’s overwhelming.

You are NEVER ALONE. Even when your feelings tell you that you’re on your own, remind them that you have God, He’s on your side! And you have an army of people who care about you, and are willing to help you.

I pray that you are able to know that He is our All Sufficient God. He is all you and I need, and he provides for even the tiniest things.

Thoughts

Wait

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A free tip to all you single ladies….. Wait.

Wait until you’re married to have sex, because it’s worth it. You really do not want the heartbreak that comes from selling yourself too cheap.

No matter what you’re told, choose to wait. For God, for you, your husband, and you’re future kids. I wouldn’t want you to have to look into the eyes of you child, or into the mirror, and regretting a choice you made in the spur of a moment.

I have been down that road, and in as much as my son is a delight to be around, it’s hard for me to see him grow up without a dad, something he really desires, because of some stupid choice I made. It tears me to pieces everytime he longingly looks at his friend’s dad, and I can only imagine the thoughts going through his mind…

Is there forgiveness? Yes!

But there are also consequences for the choices that we make, and being forgiven doesn’t erase them. But God still walks beside us, and makes the load lighter. I’m so thankful for all the men that God has brought into my son’s life, to help him grow into a godly man.

All I’m saying is, if you still haven’t gone down that road, please, please, don’t do it, just wait, and it’ll be worth every second. You do not want the heartache that comes with selling yourself short, and you don’t have to have a baby to feel the effects of having sex before marriage.

If you have gone down that road, there’s forgiveness. Jesus also says that we take our burdens to Him, and He’ll take it upon Himself.

Thoughts

Love is Red

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Candle lit dinners, red roses, dark, silent, just the right atmosphere, shimmery dress, heavy make-up, light food, light laughter, he leans in, I lean in…

My mind wonders, this love, is it a verb, a pronoun, or a noun? Is it alive, someone’s name perhaps? Maybe a character in one of Shakespeare’s masterpiece?

Is love sex, passionate and intimate? Or a feeling of satisfaction? Is it a color? Is it tangible or edible?

By this I know love, that He laid His life down for me, so I ought to lay my life down for others.

Now Love is this; sacrificial, selfless, humble, esteeming others above yourself, submitting to the lowly, giving, even that which you want, even to death if it may, look upon your executer, and forgive

Thoughts

The Sin of Makeup

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I think someone needs to address this issue. I have watched several YouTube videos, read a couple blogs, and even heard a lot of pastors criticizing and condemning makeup on the pulpit.

Let me clarify this; I love makeup, if I could only understand what those YouTubers say, I would be doing full face makeup!

It saddens my heart that something inanimate, is considered evil! I mean, is the devil so dumb as to just live in make up? Or short skirts, or pants? Or some type of music instrument?

The devil can use such stuff as a snare, but that doesn’t mean that makeup, or a certain instrument is evil, no! It means, we need to check our hearts priorities! Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will also be!

Satan did not use a fruit to tempt Eve, he used her heart’s desire, and manipulated her.

If you feel God is asking you to stop doing makeup, well and good! Just don’t go around condemning those who wear it, we don’t have the same convictions.

I’m not one sided either. Makeup can be used for good, or for bad. I see makeup as an art. I know I’m beautiful with or without makeup, because I have my identity in Christ.

If you use makeup as a clutch, a definition of beauty, or as an identity, or because you are insecure about how you look, I think you should slow down and get rooted and grounded in His word first.

I heard on girl saying, ‘God hates makeup,’ huh? Did He tell you that?

When Samuel is sent by God to anoint David as King, he keeps looking at the brother’s physical appearance and saying, ‘surely, this is the one!’ but God kept rejecting them! He finally told Samuel, ‘ you look at the outward, the physical. But I look at the inside, the heart.’

God doesn’t care if you cake your face or not, He doesn’t care, if you wear long skirts, or short skirts or pants, He doesn’t care if you are black or white, or Indian or American, No. He cares about your heart. Where is my heart? Is it hidden in Him?

What is the state of my heart? Is it seeking to please Him or myself? Who is the master of my heart? Me or God?

Jesus told the Pharisees, ” it is not what goes into a person that defiles them, but what comes out of the person.”

Does that strike a nerve? It does to me.

Instead of looking for excuses to not check our hearts, and accusing inanimate objects of being evil, let’s listen to God. Ask Him to clean every corner of your heart and rid it of evil. Let us check our priorities and make them straight.

But most of all, let us sit at the feet of Jesus and be fed, that we may know truth from false, and be grounded in His love.

Bless y’all

Thoughts

Reckless Love

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I once was told, ‘ all women have a deep seated desire to be loved’. It seemed strange to me that, being a woman, I did not have the said desire!

My heart of stone just won’t allow it. But I was fooling myself, without even realizing it. I thought I did drugs for fun, had sex because everyone else was… But what was my drive?

Finding fulfilment? I can’t say. I wanted to hang out among the rich, popular, and powerful people. I wanted the label ‘cool’ , and for my friends then, cool was the number of men you’ve been with, the bottles of whisky you can drown in before you get wasted, the amount of weed you can smoke and the high you can get. Pointless, I know. But I wanted acceptance, I wanted popularity, I wanted love.

Long after, I got saved, I still struggled with the same kind of things, but only worse. I’m a single mom, a result of my past. It is hard to raise a kid alone, as a young woman, in a culture that no man wants to raise another’s mistake, especially if that child is a boy. Satan taunted and made fun of me for leaving the things I was familiar with, to hang on to a hope and a faith that I wasn’t still sure of.

Sounds familiar?

Now, when I am tempted with the same, which I still am, I remember Ruth. She was a young moabite widow, with a high chance of finding another husband in Moab, a place she was very familiar with, but she still chose to go with Naomi, to her people, to a strange land with strange customs.

Naomi urged her to go back, but she still hang on, until her mother-in-law gave up.

This story encourages me A LOT!

Ruth, just like me, wanted more. She wanted a God that she can trust, a God that loves His people, A living God. I do too.

But what kept holding me down? I hadn’t fully grasped the extent of God’s love for me. I have recited John 3:16 in Sunday school, I have heard other people talk about this reckless love, but I hadn’t experienced it!

Until I read 1 John 3:16. I have NO words to literally explain how I felt as I read that whole chapter.

By this I know love, because He laid His life down for me…

1 John 3:16 ( personalized)

Whack! First it felt like a slap on my face, like, when your asleep and someone pours ice cold water on you. Then this nourishment like water on a thirsty throat. Wow!

I know He loves me, wretched, vile, faithless, hopeless, sinful creature, that He died for me.

Isn’t that mind blowing? Who loves like that?! None of the guys I’ve ever dated loved me like that!

I remember this one time my mom caught me out at night with a guy, ha! The guy ran so fast, you might have thought death was near😂. He didn’t have balls to face my mom, would he have died for me? I highly doubt.

But this pure, reckless love from a guy that I cheated on, hurt, and keep hurting, but still, He thinks of me! He follows me down in the mud, and washes me clean!

Oh, the overwhelming, never ending, reckless love of Christ!

Thoughts

As You Wait…

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Trust in the Lord and do good,

Dwell in His presence and enjoy His word,

Take delight in the Lord,

He will fulfill you,

Commit your ways, emotions, and desires to the Lord,

Trust in Him and He will do this:

He will make your reward shine like the dawn,

Your knight in shining armor like the noonday sun.

Be still before the Lord,

Wait patiently for Him;

Don’t fret when everyone else gets married before you,

Using manipulation and wicked schemes…

inspiration

Not by works! But by His strength

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After I became a Christian, I stumbled A LOT. I would masturbate at night and wake up feeling real guilty about it. I’d scrub myself with hot water in an attempt to clean up the guilt or wash away the sin… But I couldn’t.

I kept listening to the devil, condemning me, torturing me, making fun of me… I thought, maybe if I work so hard in the church I might find forgiveness. Or if I be good for an amount of time, God will overlook my sin…

But all that was a cat and mouse game. They were lies that Satan kept putting in my head to distract me, so I may not see the greater picture, a loving father waiting patiently for me, to embrace me, to satisfy me.

Then I read Ephesians 2:8-9,

For by Grace you have been saved through Faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the Gift of God, NOT OF WORKS lest anyone should boast.

And I cried. I cried because of all the lies I had bought. I cried for all the hurt I put myself through, trying to buy my own salvation, which I never could.

And then I was filled with Joy. Because I have a gift, given to me by my heavenly father, which is salvation through Christ. I never deserved it, but by His Grace, it was made available to me, so that I receive it by faith.

Now I am free to run into God’s presence, with boldness, asking for forgiveness and receiving it fully.

Amen.

Don’t let the devil weigh you down anymore, talk to God, don’t hide because He is always there with you, waiting.

Uncategorized

Made in the Image of God

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Satan uses lies to distort our perception of self, God, and others. He is at work disconnecting mankind (the creation) from God (the creator) there by destroying the honor given to man having been made in God’s inage and subsequently, the purpose of mankind.

Sher Pai

For years, I have struggled with finding my identity. I tried hanging around the cool kids at school, doing drugs and alcohol, having sex, relationships, but nothing seemed to work out.

I kept hearing people talk about being self-made, or the usual ‘you need a good dose of self-esteem’ crap. I had tried all that, but why did I still feel empty?

Because I bought into the lies of Satan. Just like Eve, Satan made me believe that God was with holding something from me. Something I could only find outside of Him. But that wasn’t true! You see we all are made in the image of God! We all can have a relationship with God. We all have a purpose and a mission on Earth!

Then I got saved. But I kept listening to Satan’s lies, that I am worthless. I am a failure. Everybody and everything around me tried to shape my identity, I had a vision of who I wanted to be, what I wanted to do, but all this was so short of what God wanted for me, What He wanted me to become.

God has given us authority. He gave us the breath of life. He made us in His image. He loves us. He wants us. He says we are worth it. He sent His son to come die for us, to free us from the bondage and lies of Satan. He wants a relationship with us.

Let’s stop listening to what Satan, society, our parents, our friends have to say about us, let’s listen to God. Who He says we are.

Remember You are made in God’s image.

Genesis 1 and 2.